Team Conflict is Natural

By Suzanna Laurent

(Reprinted with permission from Super Script, Alberta Chapter newsletter, April 2004 issue. The article might have gone through minor editing in keeping with the Indus editorial policies.)

Secretary of State Colin Powell says that good leaders sometimes make people unhappy. Good leadership involves a responsibility to the welfare of the group. If you worry about people liking you and make choices based on popularity, you will refrain from making tough decisions. You might even avoid confrontation and, as a result, deserving people may not be rewarded for their accomplishments. Sometimes leaders just have to draw a line in the sand and take a stand!

When conflict occurs within a group, it can mean trouble! If the leader does not handle it promptly, conflict can keep the whole team from moving forward. As a team leader, you must accept the responsibility for providing conflict resolution. Successfully handling the conflict that occurs among team members requires us to consider several important factors.

Conflict is natural. Although most people like to avoid it, conflict is a natural result when people with diverse personalities work together.

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As we interact, there will always be times that we don’t agree with everyone. But by working together, people learn that conflict, disagreement, and promotion of disparate ideas are bound to occur in a vibrant, successful group.

Conflict is resolved through openness. Since conflict is considered natural in a group, it should be managed in a natural way through open discussion. Using open discussion to resolve issues before they create even greater issues is very effective.

Conflict occurs over issues, not over personalities. People may become parties to the conflict, but the people are not really the issue. Teams members must learn that what really counts are the issues and perceptions of those issues, not personalities.

Conflict allows us to search for alternatives. Don’t spend valuable time trying to place blame for the situation; use the time instead to discuss what you would prefer as an alternative. An effective discussion about resolving the conflict focuses on what is being said right now in this setting, not the past.

Conflict is a group issue. Disagreements between individuals in a group become issues for the entire group to deal with, because they can affect the work of the entire team. Team members, therefore, don’t always have to resolve differences on their own. The whole team pitches in to help.

One of the most common impediments to communicating freely in a group is the defensiveness of people whose ideas and suggestions are being evaluated and perhaps disagreed with, in whole or in part. When this happens, defensive, self-protective behavior occurs. I’m sure you’ve seen this many times, but you can train yourself to deal constructively with resistance and disagreement. Try these five suggestions to help you deal with opposition to your ideas:

Relax. Sit back in your chair and keep your facial expression attentive. Don’t frown or shake your head. When you look relaxed, even though you may not be so inside, you look confident and invite people to discuss your idea openly.

Listen. Maintain eye contact to show that you value what is being said. Remain seated, leaning back in your chair. Don’t interrupt while others are talking unless it is quite clear that they have misconstrued your idea.

Accept. You don’t have to agree with whatever criticism is leveled at your idea, but you’d better accept that the people leveling it take their criticism seriously. You want to be careful not to make statements that appear to be put-downs or ridicule. If you blurt out, .”That’s ridiculous”, the fight may be on. Watch your non-verbal expressions. When you have an expression on your face that can be interpreted as ”What nonsense”, you are not influencing people in your favor.

Make it a group issue. If you refrain from defending your idea, you may be pleasantly surprised to hear someone else take up the defense instead. That person may have more credibility and influence than you in this situation because he or she is nonpartisan. But if no one else responds immediately, just sit quietly. You don’t always have to speak up just because other members want to address you on the idea, unless they ask you questions that only you can answer. When you receive comments that are too narrowly focused, you can make the discussion a group issue by saying “.I’ve heard extensively how Jane and Howard feel about my idea, but I’d find it valuable to hear how others look at it too.

Answer. If the group discussion still leaves something missing or something to be desired, you may want to respond to some of the disagreement. When you do, address the group, not your critic. Remember, you’ve made it a group issue now. Don’t take it back.

The chief advantage of using your team to resolve conflict and make decisions is that you bring different resources together to interact and to develop more options. There is no question that the synergy in an effective team produces more than the sum of its parts.

(Suzanna Laurent is an Associate Fellow, Oklahoma Chapter)

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